You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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