dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
