Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
