Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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