Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
