My underwear smells like fireworks.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
