come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize