is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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