last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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