i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
