i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
