if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
