Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
