After last night, I could never be a politician.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
