bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
