it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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