started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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