we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
