You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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