I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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