it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
