Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
