you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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