scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
