he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
