you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
