Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
