dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
