Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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