Me. At least after what I've been through.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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