i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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