dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
