so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize