just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
