Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the day after is always just damage control
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
