Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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