I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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