i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
