just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
