they need to just BURY HIM!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
