You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
