Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
