I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
