My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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