Soap is not a condiment
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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