if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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