I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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