You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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