i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
