please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
