Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
