Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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