hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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