i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
