I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
