Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
