Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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