Me. At least after what I've been through.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
