I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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