We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
