well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
